Sometimes you just need to step back from the mess and
reassess. Life is messy. Relationship is messy. Family is messy. We’ve just
moved to north Georgia and are living with my sister until we sign on our new
house. Things are getting messier in this unique situation and chaos has ensued.
Our five children have had varying reactions to moving. Some
were thrilled, some don’t care but will be excited when we get to our own
house, and some are struggling. Day after day is filled with a busy schedule of
school, work, gaming, eating, cleaning, watching TV, sibling spats, shopping,
and more. But when the kids start fighting more than usual, we know we need to bring
them together.
“Family meeting!”
The kids come from all directions in the house. There are
offenses going untended. There are bad attitudes creating more bad attitudes.
Everything seems to be toppling out of control.
When we call a family meeting, we never do the same thing,
except one major detail—pry open the lines of communication. We talk about all
the negativity floating around. Oldest girl keeps bossing around the younger
kids. Son keeps calling sister names. Middle sister hit the other middle
sister. The usual family stuff.
But the offenses and attitudes are not really the issue.
It’s a heart issue. Under the surface of their behavior, there is something
painful hiding. It is their motivation for fighting or bossing or name-calling.
I wish we could have figured it out sooner that these unseen
wounds were hiding. Physical wounds are much easier to see and tend to. Wounds
deep in their spirit are unspoken but are more real than the physical. They
dictate whether they feel safe, whether a bossy sister will bother them, and
whether being called a jerk will hurt.
We lay our children in the Father’s arms and ask him to
guide us toward the hidden wounds. We talk about it, bringing light to it. We acknowledge
how much it hurts. We invite the Holy Spirit into those painful places.
When it seems things are out of control and chaotic, don’t
hide and ignore it. The chaos may stop temporarily but will surely
return—sometimes in more painful ways. Press into your family, circle the
wagons and unite your family in defense against the wounds that rule their
hearts—and yours. Bring the healing presence of the Holy Spirit into the core
of your home.
